


To A Million Universes and Back (I love you)

by Natty_Stark



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Funeral, Multi, Sad, Tony lives because of fanfiction magic, avengers endgame au, natasha and steve deserve the best, natasha deserves more, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 20:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21380245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natty_Stark/pseuds/Natty_Stark
Summary: "From this universe, to millions more, to the deepest depths of the stars, from a thousand lightyears farther and farther away. I love you."
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 61





	To A Million Universes and Back (I love you)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sad fic. I let Tony live cuz I can. 
> 
> Anyway on to the story! 
> 
> Lovelots for reading ♡

⍟⍟⍟⧗⍟⍟⍟  
Steve would never admit this to anyone but he missed her so damn much.

Much more than anyone else probably.  
They were partners, more than that. They had a strong connection that no one in the team had, they understood each other in many ways, and leaned on each other more than once in an almost less platonic way.

But even that, he knew they were more than friends, he never missed the way she looked at him when she told him to call Sharon, or when that woman in Prague, when they were on the run, flirted with him. She was jealous, he knew, because after that she had given him glares and a cold shoulder.

And the next day he found her flirting with some guy at the bar, they were in, he got so jealous that he dragged her out of the bar and later that night they fought---argued and so he kissed her. He couldn't take it anymore, he had been holding back since she declared her sudden attraction to Bruce, and he just snapped.

She was going to see him in a minute, but she never came.

She sacrificed herself for that goddamned stone, Steve almost hated it. 

He almost hated it. The stone. Not Natasha. He understood her intentions but he hated himself for not telling those damn three words sooner. 

And now she's dead.

And she's having her funeral.

And it hurt so damn much.

A touch on the shoulder brought Steve back to reality. He hadn't even realized he was spacing out, staring on the blue-emerald waves of the ocean, that painfully reminded him of her eyes, the ones he'll never see again.

"Cap, it's starting in five."

It was Tony, his red-tinted sunglasses glinting on the sunlight, as he clasped Steve's shoulder tightly. He didn't smile and only looked sombre. He straightened up and let Tony guide him to the cliff.

He remembered when he asked her if she wanted to go away to a place where would she go, she replied with a small quirk on her lips while her blonde waves cascaded down her shoulders, as she looked at the Paris lights, "I'd probably go to some overlooking cliff with the waves crashing down gently below,"

He'd asked why and her green emerald eyes flickered into his blue ones which he'd never get tired of staring on them, her eyes held the sincerity and her care for him, and he loved it.

"Because it reminds me of you." And he remembered the kiss they shared on that balcony on the December night in 2017 and it felt right, it always did. So much better than the Escalator kiss or in Prague.

He felt his heart squeeze when he saw familiar people gathered around the headstone, as the priest, stood beside her headstone.

No body. Clint had said, before wrecking into sobs after appearing together with them without Nat on that time machine. 

He stood at the back with Tony, Pepper, Morgan, Bucky, and Sam, supporting him.

It felt nice to have someone there but it never really diminished the pain though.

The original five were asked to speak but none of them had exactly done their speeches right.

Tony ended up not finishing the first half of his speech, and apparently it was in latin. Clint broke down after his first sentence. Thor was crying and his words were unintelligible. Bruce choked on his words and abruptly stopped.

And Steve, gosh, he couldn't speak, and ended up crying as well.

So in the end, Wanda, bless her, spoke for them, and struck the perfect words in her speech. Wanda sobbed after her speech as Pepper the ever kind Pepper Potts, led her down the podium.

It was a painful day for everyone. Hell, even Fury and Hill cried, which was shocking.

Natasha didn't know how many people she had affected. Maybe she did. And he loves her for it.

Love.

Damn.

He still wished he could have told her sooner, on their last night together before the heist, between peanut butter sandwiches and vodka, he should've told her. And by God, was he a chicken.

After the funeral, Steve was left alone by everyone from the cliff and stood in front of the headstone.

[ Natasha Romanoff  
⧗  
the bravest avenger  
the soul of the team  
1984-2023  
"staying together is more important than how we stay together" ]

He closed his eyes, remembering the words she had told him in Peggy's funeral, and she was there to comfort him, not that Sam wasn't good company, but he preferred her comfort more.

And God, how he missed her. 

"Hey Nat, I know you're probably somewhere floating here or there. Messing around or sneaking around."

He took a shaky breath, rubbing his face with his hands, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I miss you Nat. We miss you. If I could find a way for you to come back I-I would do anything for you. Give you the life you wanted, anything--"

He was gasping now, his tears came crashing down and spilling down on his face. "--you told me you'd see me in a minute. I-I'm still counting on it. Because, we were going to Brooklyn together, remember? After the heist? We were going to buy a flat there, just you and me, M-maybe invite Sam and Bucky together. have a cat and you'd probably name her Liho," a hoarse laugh came from him as he kneeled in front of the head stone, his head down as he cried, remembering a few days ago when she'd told him she'd wanted a cat when this was all over.

"A-and we'd have a dog named D-dodger or something, and you'd hate him for licking your face first thing in the morning. Oh god, I miss you. I really do. Who's going to pull me out of my nightmares? Who's going to give me fossil jokes? Who am I gonna draw? Who's going to have late-night talks with me?" he grew quiet, fisting the grass, looking up to see the all too familiar red hourglass staring back at him, engraved delicately on the grey headstone.

Closing his eyes, he stood up and breathed, opening it again, his blue ocean eyes stared at the headstone.

"I love you, Nat."

There he said it. But it didn't make him feel better because she was gone. 

"From this universe, to millions more, to the deepest depths of the stars, from a thousand lightyears farther and farther away. I love you."

My precious ballerina.

Suddenly a whoosh of the air slapped him on the skin as he shivered, and he could've sworn he heard a delicate whisper of words as the wind went by.

"Ya tozhe lyubyu tebya, soldat."

He closed his eyes again, breathing in and out before looking back at the headstone again. he touched the headstones edge and whispered, "I'll see you again, Nat."

Not now, but soon.

He turned around and was surprised to see Bucky, Sam, and Wanda there, waiting for him.

Neither talked of the trio talked as they led him out from the cliff, out from the shore as they drove to Tony's cabin for a little night out, remembering the spider they all care and love.

He won't ever forget her.

Not at all.

He'll love her till his breath departs.  
⍟⍟⍟⧗⍟⍟⍟


End file.
